10/30-Kanye West

I am the Kanye West. I love Kayne West. Everything needs to be Kayne West. Kayne West is Jesus. Kayne West is life. I was once asked who was the top 3 best rappers ever. My answer was: #1 Kayne West, #2 Kim Kardashian's husband, #3 Northwest's father. I strongly believe in this. The interviewer called me an idiot and left. One day, when I am truly believed to be a god, I will make him get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. I am Kayne West. I am god. I am the most important person the worshippers should pray for. I am everything.

10/28-Mix Bag

One day, Zeus was at a Jimmy Buffett concert. Suddenly, a random teacher came out of nowhere and took his phone up in class. I guess the concert was going on in class or something, but I don't know why he didn't just zap the teacher. Maybe he was a good boy before he ruled all of Greece. I would've made the teacher get on their knees and apologize. Then, give me my phone back and I would order stoning upon the teacher, but that's just me. Since Zeus didn't do crap, this is the end.

10/27-Fairy Tale Name Poem

G = great
I = indulging
N = neglected
G = going along with about anything
E = extremely persuasive
R = resistive
B = bartering
R = ready for anything
E = erotic
A = awesome
D = deadly

M = manly
A = adaptable
N = not a ginger though

10/24-X Marks The Spot

I'm a cliché pirate with a cliché crew on a cliché ship. I found a cliché treasure map and followed the direction to a cliché island. My crew and I looked around and found the hidden treasure, but I guess it wasn't gold so it was something else. Oh, I never even introduced you to the crew. There's Captain Hook, the other guy that stands on top of the ship and only yells, "Land Ho!" Then there is me and you don't need to know who I am, so let's get back on the topic of the treasure. It wasn't gold so it probably wasn't even worth my time looking for anyway, but I have to say what it is. It was friendship. There you go. You now have closure with a cliché kids' pirate story. Unless I just say the pirates ate each other due to hunger, but then it wouldn't be much of a kids' story, would it? Why would I want to write a kids' story? Let's just leave it at: they ate each other and the last pirate that wasn't eaten found the treasure, which was full of fresh foods. The last pirate was ashamed of his decision to eat his fellow pirates, so he killed himself. Yeah... It's dark but when has anything I've wrote not been.

10/23-That's punny!

Battle of the puns? This might be the all time lowest. Sorry, but I'm not full of cheap non-funny puns. The ones I do know or I can make up is REALLY not appropriate for school. By the way, who would be having a "pun-off?" I can understand a beat box or a freestyle rap battle, but if you're having a serious "pun-off" with someone, you need new friends. You (who ever was just unlucky enough to come across this) must be asking if this is just a another blog with another blogger ranting. The answer is yes. I'm not some circus clown that makes elementary school kids laugh. I'm a high school student that acts like what she/he would normally act like. I can't just turn around and do a complete blog about dudes arguing with puns. Unless I just copy some off of Google. Do you remember the time this class was creative? I don't either.

10/21-Deja Vu

Caroline studied the old man carefully. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something about him reminded her of someone else. But who? She stared at the old man as he hobbled off the bus. Caroline's mind was boggled and full of questions. "Who does he remind me of? Have I seen him somewhere before, or am I just crazy?" she thought to herself. When the bus came to her stop, she walked off and into her house. "Who is he?" she asked herself once again. Caroline decided to skip dinner today and headed straight to bed. "Was he my husband's father? How come I don't remember him then?" she questioned through out the night. By the next morning, she completely forgot about the old man. She woke up, got dressed, and hopped on the bus to work. This time, she saw the old man through the windows, strolling along on the sidewalk. He stared right back at her with his cloudy and faded colored eyes. The bus pulled off and Caroline was confused once again. Her work day went by slow. She was also coming back home to a empty house. Caroline has lived alone for years since her husband and the kids left her due to financial problems. So she's been fighting depression and even takes medication for it. Which she forgot to take this morning. She rushed off the bus and unlocked the front door of her house. She dashed upstairs to the bathroom. When she entered the bathroom, she was surprised to see the old man in there. He stood there with a rope in his hand. He swiftly grabbed Caroline's hair and dragged her downstairs to the basement. There, he injected her with a needle. She became dizzy and collapsed to the ground. The old man turned around and started to tie a noose around one of the support beams on the ceiling. Caroline sat on the ground helpless. She could only watch the old man set everything up. After, he looks back at Caroline and grabs her once again. He stands her up on a chair and ties the noose around her neck. Caroline couldn't get her mind straight. It must of been whatever was in that needle that was stabbed into her. She stood on the chair observing the old man before the chair was finally kicked out from under her. She dangled from the ropes that were strangling her. Her eyes slowly closed shut, but in a suddenly she woke up in a hospital. She glanced around the room and saw her whole family. They all went into shock when they saw her wake up. "Daddy! She's up! She's up!" Caroline's daughter yelled. Caroline's husband looked over and saw his wife waking up after a coma that lasted for years. "Oh god! Is it true? Are you actually awake?" the husband asked. "What happened?" Caroline requested a answer. "It's true! You're alive! We were about to pull the plug too," the husband said as he hugged her. "Is this true? Was I in a coma? Was I dreaming while I was in it? Is that why I felt deja vu when I saw the old man? That's what it was! I looked my murderer straight in the eyes," she thought to herself. "We'll make sure this never happens again, honey. I swear," promised the husband. Caroline opened her mouth and said, "It wasn't a suicide. It was attempted murder."

10/16-RAIN

Rain... I guess it's pretty cool. I like it, and I would really appreciate a flooding. I'm just saying that because it would be like a free swimming pool everywhere. I don't think I really need to go into detail about rain though since we've all seen it. So... uh, I guess I'll just talk about why I like the rain to make this blog a little bit longer. As I said before, it's cool in general and can possibly cause a flood, which I hope for. The harder it rains, the happier I am for some reason. I don't know why, but it just seems that way. Um... Ok, this is ridiculous. It's rain! We can't write much of a story about that. At least I can't think of a good one. Not much creativity in this "creative burst", so I'm just going to end it here before I go on a rant.

10/15-I remember when...

I remember when I use to stand proudly, now I lay down helplessly. I remember when people use to sit on me, but now I'm alone. I'm not trying to speak in metaphors here; I'm being serious. I am a chair. Now you might be asking why am I telling you this. Is it because I'm stored away in a attic or thrown away in a junk yard? No, it's because of the bad humans. It seems like peoples' demon came out and unleashed chaos upon the innocence of this world. Anger and hatred pushed people to violence and war. A lot of good people died due to this. It was somewhere near the time of extinction for humanity when the city I sat in was bombed. Skyscrapers collapsed and citizens vanished. The force of the explosion shattered the window next to me and shoved me over. I lied sideways as I heard the screams of terror and panic die down. I was on my side for awhile,(and I still am) hoping someone would find me and set me upright. No one ever showed up. I kind of miss the warm presence of humans, even if it kind of smelled.

10/10-Pet Peeves

I have many things that annoy me. The most annoying would be other humans in general. This is not my way of saying I'm perfect. Trust me, I have my flaws. I neither say that all humans are honest to god a pain, but there are those few. For example: people that take a selfie for EVERYTHING! My house is burning down, let's take a selfie. My friend is dying but I can save him, so let's take a selfie. Let's take a selfie in the middle of a crowded hallway. It simply doesn't make sense to me. For another example: people that are too lazy to do something so they leave it for someone else to do it for them. My sister is great at doing this. Finally, last example, people that don't have the manners to say "please" or "thank you." I know several people here that can't do something that simple. I have many more examples but you see my point. These things that bother me are all caused by other humans. Really mankind, get a hold of yourself.

10/7-The Flip Side

Me:

School has put stress on me.
I'm on the edge of insanity.
I try not to make this issue into a big deal.
Instead, I go on and keep my mouth sealed.
Even though school does suck,
I can graduate with some luck.

Older Sister:

School has been a problem for me too
But I don't know what about it I should do.
I'll just start a lot of drama, and get into fights.
I know it's stupid but who cares if it's right.
At the end of all of this, I will just drop out
And see what life without education is all about.

10/6-Persona Poem

This is Bear Grylls here,
And on this episode, I'll be surviving in the Kakadu Jungle
Let's go. (jumps out of the plane with a parachute on)
(Lands on the ground and detaches parachute) I always love that part.
Now the first things to look for in here is drinkable water,
And it doesn't seem like I can find any.
Instead, I'll just drink my own pist.
(Actually drinks it) It's salty, but it will do.
(Camera turns off) Is it off?
Good, give me a slice of that pizza then.
(Camera man refuses)
Come on, I just drank my own pist on national TV.
(Camera guy hands over a slice) Thank you!
Hurry up and finish that up though.
We're back on in 10 seconds.

10/2-The Frog Prince

Once upon a time, there was a princess wondering the woods. She was lost within the dense forest, looking for a answer to her problem. Then she stumbled across a old broken bejeweled crown. She picked the pieces up and admired them. "Hey, those are mine. I've been trying to keep all the pieces together," said a frog hopping towards her. "Gross! You're a nasty talking frog!" screamed the princess. "Yes, I know this... Do you think you can help me?" asked the frog. "Why would I help a frog?" questioned the princess. "I maybe able to help you in return. I assume your a princess with the crown on you head," the frog pointed out. "I used to be, until my father banished me. He's afraid when I take charge, I would bring our kingdom into war with itself," stated the princess. "Maybe I can help you out with that," the frog spoke. "How would you do that?" inquired the princess. "You let me worry about that, but when I'm done you have to help me with something. You have to make your kingdoms' blacksmith restore my crown to it's former glory, and I am allowed to live with you inside your castle," said the frog. "Um... ok, but hurry," the princess commanded. The frog bounced away towards the castle. The sun fell barely above the horizon. The princess was tired and bored, but the frog them came back with good news. "It's done. You may return to the kingdom with me alongside you," the frog informed her. The princess was full of happiness. She grabbed the frog, and the pieces of the crown, and ran back to her home. On arrival, she noticed the peasants whispering and giving her dirty looks. She entered the castle and was approached by one of the knights. "All hale the princess!" the knight chanted. "I don't understand," said the princess. "Our king and queen are both dead, making you the queen of our kingdom," the knight spoke. The princess had a mixture of feelings. She pulled out the frog and asked what happened. "I killed your parents, so now your in charge. Now don't forget our little deal," the frog mentioned. The princess then handed the frog off to the knight and ordered him to bring the frog and the crown to the blacksmith. She shuffled to the thrown and sat. She was shocked by her decision, but then she looked up. She saw her many servants and protectors under her command. The princess fell a surge of power through her veins. A evil grin appeared on her face. The entrance of the room then opened and came in a prince. "I'm back! The crown was fixed and my curse is broken. I have been given a second chance. Thank you princess. Now we can live and control this kingdom together," the prince said. They both got married and ruled the kingdom. The kingdom did end up in civil war just like her father predicted, but at least queen and king lived happily ever after.

10/1-Fairy Tale Characters

"Bro, you in your house yet? The purge starts 10:00 tonight. Please tell me you'll let me in your house if mines fail to protect me. I'm a little nervous that it won't hold up man," Bacon nervously spoke through the phone. "We've done fine for the other purges. Have we not?" Mr. Porker asked. "Yeah, but that was because we were in the middle of the woods for those years. No one ever ventured out this far, but now there's the Werewolf Blood gang. They always look through the woods for a fresh kill," Bacon pointed out. "They are nothing but a punch of punk wolves. Just keep quite and you'll be fine," Mr. Porker suggested. "Can you promise me that if they break in, I can hide in your house?" Bacon requested. "Not happening. If they find you, you will lead them back to my place. Learn how to defend yourself and get your hands on a weapon. Now good bye," Mr. Porker replied. "Your my brother! Come on, help me out here," Bacon begged. "I said GOOD BYE!" Mr. Porker yelled as he slammed the phone down. "Oh crap," Bacon mumbled to himself. "Maybe Little Squealer could help me. I could use him as a offering to the wolves. No, Mr. Porker would never forgive me for that. Why does he care about him so much? I know he's family, but the little piglet can't do anything for himself," Bacon thought. Then, his TV turned on with a warning on the screen. "WARNING: purge beginning in 10 seconds," the TV read. Bacon was rushed with a feeling of panic. He slowly counted down the timer along with the TV. After the countdown reached zero, the sound of sirens roared throughout the forest. "Ok, I need a weapon and a good place to hide," Bacon planned. He observed the inside of his house. He grabbed a broom and hid behind his couch, praying that he wouldn't be noticed. Within minutes, Bacon heard a loud and sudden squeal echo from the woods. "That must be Little Squealer. The idiot shouldn't of built his house out of straw. Come to think of it, I shouldn't of built me house out of sticks," Bacon doubted himself. After, hard and swift hits on the door startled Bacon. "Open up little piggy," commanded a wolf. "I know your in there. Your little brother sold you out," the wolf mentioned. "That little snitch ratted me out," whispered Bacon. "So your house is made of sticks. I'll admit it's better than the other one. You know your little brother was a bit raw, maybe we can cook you," threatened the wolf. The house then filled with smoke. Bacon realized that they set his house on fire. "Come out little piggy," the wolf said. Bacon ran to the back door. He dashed out towards his bigger brother's house. The wolves saw this and chased him. Bacon yelled for Mr. Porker. The front door of the brick house opened with Mr. Porker standing there with his hand out. Before Bacon could reach the door, his legs were grabbed and he was dragged into the darkness. Mr. Porker quickly closed his door with terror on his face. "Hey, give up. We already got your brothers. It won't be a problem to get you too," the wolf spoke. "Get lost you rascals!" Mr. Porker screamed. "Fine then. We will break in then," the wolf said. It took a few hard bashes to knock the door off of the hinges. The wolves walked in with claws out, ready to tear into the pig. Luckily, the TV switched on with yet another warning. "WARNING: purge is now over. Crimes will be treated with authority," the TV now read. "You got lucky little pig," one of the wolves said as they all shuffled out of the house. Mr. Porker exhaled with relief. The pig was safe, but at what price?